Session #11 as told by Inez
Dear diary,
Things did not work out as I planned, and that’s an understatement! trying to cover up my fraud scheme, I almost killed the very talented Couturière in town, probably creating an enemy for life... As always I was almost killed and had to be bailed out by my halfling friends. And in the end we had to rush out of Ki as criminals. Don’t know how I can explain this all, but here follows my attempt.
We were in our room at the inn, trying to regain some energy after our fight with the rats and the hefty breakfast. I was pacing nervously back and forth between my bed and the one used as a vault. Each round my eyes found the package of the fashion boutique, containing that red dress so nice. Each round my eyes found the two beds with a halfling man sitting on top, chattering in good humor, planning the next meal, ignoring their gnomish companion. Until I could not stand it any more and brokenly started orating about the need to come up with a plan. To my surprise, the halflings agreed, they were also keen on leaving Ki, not even blaming me, but first priority was a decent meal. Flabbergasted I agreed on this and off they went to the dining hall. Like my mother would have said: “Don’t stand between Halflings and their food, it’s like Blocking a Steam Kettle’s Whistle, you’ll only get burned!”
As they opened the door I could hear the huge crowd that had gathered below, the good people of Ki had decided to lengthen the festivities, wedding them to the weekly days of rest. As I felt myself a bit left out, I chose to postpone a visit to the bookstore and instead give in to the desire to wear that dress. Like we gnome say: “A Clock Without a Cuckoo Is Just a Sad Box of Gears!” So a short hour later I was primed, polished, powdered and painted, using the stuff I had bought using the seal. A look in the mirror made short work of the proverb that crime doesn't pay. Yes I know, dear diary, hubris could be my middle name these days..
Walking down the stairs I scanned the main hall of the Badger. The place was loaded, mostly with great folk, glasses and bottles in hand. Finn and Jonathan had joined some locals.Within their group I recognized the smith’s son Carrion, and all were in good spirits, both literally and figuratively speaking. The halflings were still able to stand on the wooden blocks to reach the height of the human table, so they should be doing fine, at least, that’s what I thought then.
The moment both halflings spotted me, things started to go wrong. Finn fell still, which could have been positive, then locked his gaze at me, like a clockwork owl following every step I set. I could almost hear the gears clicking in his head, waiting for a spring to snap. However, this was not my biggest concern, as my other admirer, Jonathan started waving and jelling how beautiful I looked. Which got the full attention of the room pointed at me (Which was admittedly also a bit gratifying, dear diary). Luckily he was handed another pint by one of the humans at the table.
Further ignoring my companions I headed to the group of Dwarven traders, sitting at one of the small folks tables. In the back of my mind a plan had arisen to find someone able to copy the sigil. Perhaps one of these dwarfs could provide this service. As I requested to join their table, clearly starting of with the correct bows prescribed by Dwarven etiquette, I was sent off like a kobold.”Moradin, grant me the strength to ignore the gnomes’ chatter!” Was amongst the most pleasant responses that followed. “Why is this little trickster at our table again? And why is she wearing less than a naked mole-rat?” Fortunately the noise in the hall was so loud and the tall folks were not interested in our conversation that I could escape without too much disgrace. Though I was fuming internally, dear diary! For the second time this day I wished High keeper Ironmantle was here to defend my honour. Probably these were dwarfs from the far North, the Grumpy Fortresses as we gnomes call their settlements, that consider gnomes untruthful and worse.
Breathing in deeply, fighting away the tears I walked over to a more quiet corner of the inn, where several ladies were sitting. Amongst them I caught sight of Lilly Merriweather, who was enthusiastically pointing at me: “You see that, that’s what I call a gnome lady!” she said to the two dames sitting with her at the table. “All styled by me, but what result! It’s a shame there are no gnome singles living around. Oh, don’t pretend you're shy, Carola, please do join us.”
Accepting the invitation I sat myself at the bar stool that was offered, equipped with a mechanism that extended it to an appropriate height. “No, it’s not gnomish. I see you looking, it’s dwarven. So it won’t play music or turn your spoon for you, no fancy stuff.”; the store owner continued: “Allow me to introduce my two friends, Jessai Meldau and Fowkin Scramblewise. This beautiful creature here is covered, well the best bits are, by a dress of my hand ! This is Carola Cape-otter, a gnome lady visiting our village.” This time my curtsy was well received, still and all I was a bit perplexed by the jovial tone. The reason for it became clear soon, as I was offered and then almost instantly served an ‘umbrella’, a colorful cocktail served in an elegant glass. “We call ourselves the umbrella company.”; Jessail explained; “Ever since Axiss introduced these, we've been enchanted by this drink. And she won’t give us the recipe. To our new friend Carola!”
“Carola? Your halfling friend just called you Jinek or something?”; our hostess interfered while picking up glasses. “Really?” ; I tried, but Axyss was just picking up steam; “Oh yes, the one that’s lying on the table, drunk as a Badger in a Honey Jar. The other one is half his time busy making sure his halfling friend does not say too many stupid things. The other half he’s peeking at you”. With that she left our table, leaving me with three grinning ladies. “Oh yes, sometimes when they're cocksure or tipsy, they call me Inez. It’s probably a halfling half goddess of fertility or so. Mostly I tolerate it. They're men.” Scoring my first laugh at the table, and above all, moving away from the name topic.
On the other side of the room a dark booming voice overwhelmed the cacophony in the room, stating with a double tongue something along the line of: “All your rats are belong to us!” Somehow Jonathan was using magic to boost his speech, preaching Brandobaris learnings instead of Chislevs. And starting off fresh rumors about the coming of new rats. All around us the possible comeback of vermin or even worse monsters went round. But not at the ladies table. “Is that not one of your halflings?” Fowkin informed. “Yes, but I’m afraid they’re a bit muddled. It’s hard these days to get proper staff.” “Oh, you do employ them?” Jessail now wanted to know. “Well, I’m more or less their solicitor. They’re ratcatchers, we travel from city to city. May I ask, is there a silversmith or something similar in Ki?” Somehow I succeeded in steering the conversation away from the rats and my companions. Less luck with finding someone to copy the sigil, as the armourer turned out the only metalworker around.
Still chattering with these women made me feel good. It made me feel like I was back at the soirees and banquets in Nook, with the additional bonus of not having gnome suitors around. Like at home, I found not much substance in the conversation. The women were not that much interested in ‘Magki matters’, leaving these to their husbands. (Had to bite my tongue there, dear diary.) Concerning the ‘episode of the rats’, Jessail and Lilly had much more interest in the relationships between me and the rat catchers (No comment, dear diary). Above all the ability of Fonkin to foresee one's future using cards was the main topic. “You're so lucky to visit us when she's around”; Tilly pressed me; “You really should give it a go.” Still the idea made me shiver, reminding me of the old witch and the idol. Luckily another umbrella-drink was served and luckily Dame Zibella had once instructed me on how to drink without drinking, getting rid of the content of your glass in a stealthy way. As my table consorts were becoming punch-drunk, I steered away from the path of Garl Glittergold, not joining the carouse. I know, I know, dear diary, but I compensate by honoring our god these days by making bad decision upon bad decision.
Another less appreciated conjuring took effect then, when Finn forced another uninvited connection between our minds. In some way I managed to keep smiling and nodding at the right moments, combining this with an inter-mindly discussion with my companion. “What happened to our plan?”; he inquired even louder in my head than if he would have been shouting; “We were supposed to leave as soon as possible!” “Yes, but there were two men who insisted on having dinner first. And one of them I can’t see anywhere?”; I responded internally, looking casually towards the corner where I last had seen the two halflings. “He’s still here, lying on the table with his mouth open. Beers and other stuff is being poured in as we speak.” “We should still prepare to leave, visit the book office, but first get him into bed.” “Agreed, I’ll try to take him over to the stairs.”; my rogue companion buzzed into my mind.
Breathing out, then elegantly standing up I excused myself at the table, then made my way to the stairs. Where I found Finn and Jonathan sitting next to each other. “I want to come with you guys! Adventure!”; Jonathan was as cheerful as drunk. “Trying to get him upstairs is no use.” Finn groaned. “Well, let’s then try to get outside. And you be quite now!”; I hissed at the halflings. Amazingly somehow the two of them limped after me, through the doors, without major incidents.
Outside Finn and I discussed what to do planwise and Jonathan-wise, in a half spoken, half thouhgt-out conversation. It seemed that Finn and Jonathan also were connected, as the priest could not stop speaking about the tricks Finn was performing in his head. “Are you in his head too?”; I asked the rogue. “Well, yes, and it’s quite hard to do, especially when one is thinking I’m today's special attraction and the other is keen on following her own agenda.”; it whirred in my mind. ‘Fine, let’s synchronize. We need to leave, but Jonathan is in no condition to travel, so tomorrow morning. We should visit the post office before we leave, trying to find out why there’s so much solicitor’s stuff being sent from here. And the drunkard, we can drop him in the water cistern over there.”
“No, not in the water!”; the priest was now yelling out loud. “Be quiet!” I hissed at Jonathan, followed by “How did he hear that?’ at Finn. “Must have passed it through. It’s quite hard, two at the same time, filtering and routing, and making sure not everything is sent.” “Yes, magic is hard, not something for the uninitiated.”; I bluffed; “Let’s put Jonathan in the stable, he’ll like it there with the animals. I’ll visit the post office by myself!” Both priest and rogue seemed to accept my proposal and we got going. Just before reaching the door, Finn turned his head and looked around; “And that dress, it fits you like a really fancy lock, I would love to spend all night trying to pick you! Oh wait, that was not supposed..” Annoyed and outraged, I snapped off the connection with the rogue, trying to inject a magical charge through the line before shutting it. This pesky halfling, dear diary!
Just halfway through the store, its owner came up to meet me. “Hi Kayleth!”; I addressed her; “I was just on my way to your store.””No need, we’re all ready and closed for the weekend!” “Closed and ready?”; I queried. “Oh yes, all the mail has been picked up by couriers and it’s on its way to Magki.” “And what about the courier that entered the store when I left?” “Oh, he’s a regular. Could not find his sigil, but had a copy. And we know him, so he took all the postal articles and went. "Not a problem!” “And is this amount of posts normal for such a small village like Ki?”; I inquired further. “Oh yes, we’re a stop in the middle of several villages and Magki. Most things just pass through, not concerning any Ki business”. Shifting between relief and disappointment I now knew I had some time to fix the sigil-situation, but also that all my hopes of revealing a major fraud had all this time just been something in my imagination. So I decided to start fixing right away and gain some credits with Kayleth: “Sorry for all these questions, I’m still trying to learn the trade. Can I offer you an umbrella at the inn?”
That’s how we rejoined the ladies at the table at the Badger. The other three ladies were derived enough by conversation and intoxication to let me tangle and untangle Kayleth that my name was actually Carola, not Claro, nor Inez. And at the time that another round of cocktails arrived, I just happened to notice something odd. The clothing workshop owner, Lilly, was wearing an eccentric, but still lovely, cloche hat in purplish black. And to me it looked like a small pixie-like creature opened up a door into the hat and vanished inside. At the time I thought that even the limited amount of umbrella cocktails I had was causing this. All the same, Lilly looked me straight in the eye and asked: “Your men, are they looking for new outfits as well?” “Well, that is a line of thought that I have not followed before.”; was my confused response; “That way they would blend in better with me, I suppose.” “I suppose so too. And I suppose that you don’t know about their whereabouts at the moment, do you?”; she inquired sharply. “Well, one of them is sleeping in the stable.” “And the other one, could he be in such desperate need for a decent ensemble that he’s looking for it right now, at night, after closing time?” She was prying into me, and all I could think of was “Finn!” and “How do I handle this?”; “Perhaps we could take a stroll into town towards the shop and see if we can find him?”; was my apologizing suggestion. “Let’s do so, please do join me. Ladies, please excuse us.” And with that she stood up, took me by the arm, and led me out of the inn.
Outside we made a good pace, especially for a gnome, towards the shop. My efforts to start a conversation with Lilly lead nowhere, at best to a firmer grip on my arm and shoulder. Stopping in front of the workshop, she let me go and directed me courteously towards the door. As enthusiastic I was stepping in the first time, so tense I was this time, leading the half elf shopowner in. The inside of the place was not as dark as I expected, moonlight came in through the shop windows (and that one dress was still up for grabs I saw). Inside a lonely figure was standing, hands raised as a beaten soldier. As I expected, it turned out to be my rogue companion Finn. “There must be a logical explanation for this, dear Lilly.”; I started my pleading. Rather weakly, you’re right, dear diary, but that’s what I came up with.
“Hush now, little lady. And welcome again, my little friends, to my shop. Would you care to explain what brought you here this time, halfling?”; sounded all too friendly. Had the store hummed faintly with latent enchantments during our first visit, now it was radiating a hostile tense shimmer. Lilly had walked past Finn to the far corner of the shop. Standing behind the counter she was clearly inspecting the situation. To a rogue as Finn this all seemed routine, he graciously greeted Lilly and me, then started explaining: “Short story, as responsible rat catcher, who takes a low esteem job seriously, taking a tour through the village. Thought I noticed some suspicious activity inside your beautiful shop. Rats I thought, so I hurried in, only to find some other bugs, hovering around.” Looking up, I now some two pixie-like creatures hovering above us. The height of the shop was, even for a human sized one, extraordinary. “But no harm done, we can close this case and all go home.”; continued, Finn while moving towards the exit. Until the door of the shop closed behind us by itself, blocking our way out.
Whereas I continued trying to negotiate with Lilly, offering both explanations, promises of more purchases or endorse her beautiful collection to small folks (Connecting this with the services of a certain mannequin, wouldn't you say, dear diary?), all hell broke loose around me. With a subtle finger movement the store owner had set the magic creatures loose on Finn. And on me! The creatures were buzzing around us, then dove at us like wasps! All the time chittering amongst themselves: “Did you see them? I’m gonna hit that ugly one!” Finn slashed, but the creature dodged, laughing as it zipped toward his throat. “That leaves pretty face for you!’." A sting lanced my arm, blood welling, but the dress stayed pristine. This was far more worse than the bees that had spoiled our garden party years ago, dear diary!
Diving, climbing and diving again the little demons attacked us again and again! Their tiny voices shrill and mocking: “You’re too ugly for that dress. We’re gonna cut it loose!” All the while Lilly was observing us from behind the counter, deaf for my pleas and arguments. A sharp pain made me shriek! The creatures were quite good at their job as guards of the store! So good even, that they cut and hit me without damaging the dress, taking care just to hit where skin was showing. Unfortunately for me this dress offered enough options to do so! My mother would have said “Showing a little skin will lure nobility in.”; but these critters did not appear to flow from a proper bloodline. Letting lines of blood flow was what they were about!
To make matters worse, Lilly tapped her hat and in it a small hatch appeared from where a third creature appeared, magically expanding to the same size as its mob members. Now the numbers were also against us! “Where's Jonathan?” I puffed to Finn. “Still sleeping out, I can't get through to him!”; was his disheartening reply, meanwhile blocking another attack with his knife. His purple arm was wielding the arcane knife, even without needing to connect to my wizardry energies. To huge effect, as he hit one of the creatures conclusively, as it exploded in a ball of dust! Disastrously this blast affected Finn too, even killing these critters caused pain! The two remaining were furious, intensifying both their attacks and insults: “Kill that stealing vermin! Did you see that, they took him down. We’re gonna make’m pay! Wreck them!” My breath hitched, fingers slick with blood and panic. But then Finn’s knife flashed, I wasn’t alone, dear diary.
Within this pandemonium I fiddled my spell book out of one of the dress’s hidden pockets (Don't ask, dear diary!) and concentrated, pulling off a near perfect acid blast towards one of the creatures! To no effect! The pixie was caught in a purple haze for a few seconds, then appeared again out of a cloud of dust, taunting and fuming: “Oh, I’m gonna bash you for that, pointy nose!” Its accomplice was nagging the both of us: “She hit you, you slow flyer. She likes putting you in the bath! Gonna give her a cleansing too!” Finn and I still stood our ground, but the both of us were bleeding from several wounds. Finn had suffered the worst of the attacks, nonetheless was still dealing damage. In line with tradition, this little gnome was out of breath, energy and luck when another attack hit her on the head. Falling down my last image was of a bloodied Finn slashing out towards those pests. In a last effort I arranged my dress in an elegant way to claim the rank of most elegant gnomish corpus delicti. One day I will end like that, a beautiful stuffed up figure in a macabre collection, dear diary!
When I opened my eyes again, Jonathan was leaning over me. Another pattern in place, dear diary, me screwing up, halfling men to the rescue! A bursting headache felt like splitting my brain, however there was no time to lie around like a clockwork butterfly. Over and over the pixies had been attacking, knocking out both Finn and me. Finn looked miserable, bloodstained and lying on the ground unconscious! “You’re here?””Yes!”; answered the priest. Best dialogue ever, I surmised, watching Jonathan walking over to Finn and performing his healing magic, superficially ignoring the buzzing pixies. The priest had arrived just in time, otherwise things would have turned out very bleak.
The shop owner was observing the clash from the far corner, staring like a basilisk at breakfast. In my mind a plan formed, perhaps if I could force the leader out of the game, this could still end well. Finding back my spellbook, it rushed its pages by itself towards a new spell. Only cast it once before, targeting one of the Owlbear Cubs, I now tried to levitate Lilly to get her into my spell, figuratively and literally. In spite of the mess we were in, casting the spell succeeded and I was tied up in steering the spell’s dynamics. All of a sudden I lost all control and the full strength of the conjuration hit me like a whip! Falling on my knees I looked up to Lilly, the half elf appeared to be even taller or to float, her face radiating rage: “Don’t you ever try that again, little lady!” Endorsing her magic superiority over me.
Cowering on the floor had one major advantage, the moment Finn hit a critter again with his magical knife and it too exploded in a cloud of dust, I was low enough to evade the impact. Yet on my knees I lost control, belittled and distressed, and over again aggregated arcane energy, kneading it in my head and between my hands into an orb, hissing like the teakettle in our kitchen, thereupon releasing it with an anger motion towards Lilly. A perfect sphere of acid made its way towards Lilly, engulfing her, striking her down. Killing her. Bewildered, I looked at her body lying in the far spot of the store. Had I just assassinated the woman who had invited me for a drink, talented designer of gorgeous dresses? “Head down!”; Jonathan poked me, bringing me back to the reality of the fight. The last remaining pixie was now bombinating like its gears were spinning out of control, transforming in a tornado like red heat glowing thunderhead! Propelling itself towards Finn it was met by the magical knife and for the last time a dust cloud was formed by an exploding critter!
This last explosion caused a fog of dust, only after Jonathan casted a light we could find out that the three of us were all still standing. (Except me, lying on the ground.) “You’re all alright? That we’re no normal pixies.“; I stuttered, getting up and looking at my companions. “Oh wait, let me check her first!”; I yelled at Jonathan, who was heading towards the lifeless body of Lilly. Instrumentally casting an unveiling of magic, I found that the former shop owner had no arcane items on her. That was except for her hat, which revealed a tiny panel. Curious, I picked the hat up, then asked Jonathan to look into Lilly. My faithful companion sat himself next to her. Then cast his spell of healing one more time effortlessly. “She’s not dead, I can still hear her heart beating. But she needs treatment!”; he assured me.
“So, she is not dead. I did not kill her!”; I was so relieved, I hugged and kissed him on the cheek. This was interpreted by Finn as an all clear sign, searching the body to find some coins, trinkets and notes. Handing a strange looking stone to me, storing the rest of the loot in his coat: “We’ve gotta go!”
But now the priest was protesting: “I should heal her before we go. Chislev would not want it any other way!” “But by healing her, she will warn the villagers, we will be lynched!”; Finn and I were trying to convince the priest that his divine plans would instead lead to more injuries and death. “But we can explain to them what happened!”; the priest insisted. “Well, here we go: I’m Carola Sea-otter, we are traveling ratcatchers, we defeated some giant-rats, but then just to come in possession of a solicitors seal, and then just happen to stumble upon some vermin in a store, leading to a fight, nearly killing the owner who I just had drinks with..”; looking at the dumbfounded face of the poor priest I continued: “Nobody in town would believe us, you don’t even believe this!”
To his credit, Jonathan did accept this argument. And we made a compromise, he stabilized Lilly using his powers, making sure she would survive but remain unconscious. Then we prepared for leaving town in secret. Picking up our stuff from the inn, that was by now dark and empty, with the exception of some die hard drinkers at the bar. Switching back into a more comfortable outfit (the halfling men standing guard outside our room), I noticed the dress practically undamaged. Same could not be said if it's wielder, my body was best with scratches and bruises at places that hadn't been covered. Finally folding it up delicately, adding Lilly’s hat to the package.
Then we set out for Magki in silence, tired already at the start of our trip. By the skin of one's teeth we made some miles before finding a hidden spot to set up camp. And there we made camp, sort of, still in silence.
And there’s where I write this, dear diary. Somehow I’ll need to figure out why I started all this; was it for the adventure, like Jonathan? The dress, am I like Finn? Or just to prove I could? And how do I make all this right before a certain rogue’s “I told you so” becomes a foretelling? Lots of questions, dear diary, to be answered by a simple gnome.